Baby Steps
After I blogged, yesterday continued to stink like one of those diapers I find myself always changing...but rather than go through the litany of reasons why it was so stinky or let you know all the itty bitty things that went wrong, I'll tell you about how it got better.
I went to the gym.
For some reason, when I am exercising, my moods are in check. I don't get manic. I am calm, tranquil and rational. But in order for that to be the case, I need to exercise 6 times a week. No less. Doing something. A little bitta something. 6 days a week. Sometimes twice a day. I missed my run on Saturday and wasn't able to wake up early enough on Sunday to really get my workout in. So by yesterday my endorphins were in the toilet, I felt like poop, and my motivation to stay on track with eating healthy had gone right out the window. No reserves.
After I emotionally grazed and munched my way through any and all junk food I could find in my cupboards, I decided to go to the 6:30 pm "Cardio-Kickboxing Boot Camp" class at the gym. I needed to be hazed. Bad Mommy needed a good ass-kicking.
I went. I worked it. I sweat like a man. I had a salad for dinner when I came home. I went to bed. I was able to send Bad Mommy away.
I am working, every day, on changing these bad habits and destructive behaviors. I am a serious emotional eater. Particularly when Lizzy was sick, I hit an all-time low. I ate and drank my way through her NICU experience, and that's how I continued to deal with the pain and stress after she came home. PTSD is a bitch...but chocolate and wine can quiet it down in a big hurry. For a little while, anyway.
Now it's 19 months (almost) since she arrived, she's healthy as a horse, my other two are setting the world on fire...what do I have to be stressed about? I know real stress and fear. And even on days like yesterday, I can stand back and say, "This is nothing." There is really no excuse for not working out and there is absolutely no excuse for abusing my body by dumping sugar and carbs and crap into it.
My baby-step for today: Sugar Purge. Ridding the house of any and all cupboard-crutches. Out. They. Go. Not to be bought again.
I went to the gym.
For some reason, when I am exercising, my moods are in check. I don't get manic. I am calm, tranquil and rational. But in order for that to be the case, I need to exercise 6 times a week. No less. Doing something. A little bitta something. 6 days a week. Sometimes twice a day. I missed my run on Saturday and wasn't able to wake up early enough on Sunday to really get my workout in. So by yesterday my endorphins were in the toilet, I felt like poop, and my motivation to stay on track with eating healthy had gone right out the window. No reserves.
After I emotionally grazed and munched my way through any and all junk food I could find in my cupboards, I decided to go to the 6:30 pm "Cardio-Kickboxing Boot Camp" class at the gym. I needed to be hazed. Bad Mommy needed a good ass-kicking.
I went. I worked it. I sweat like a man. I had a salad for dinner when I came home. I went to bed. I was able to send Bad Mommy away.
I am working, every day, on changing these bad habits and destructive behaviors. I am a serious emotional eater. Particularly when Lizzy was sick, I hit an all-time low. I ate and drank my way through her NICU experience, and that's how I continued to deal with the pain and stress after she came home. PTSD is a bitch...but chocolate and wine can quiet it down in a big hurry. For a little while, anyway.
Now it's 19 months (almost) since she arrived, she's healthy as a horse, my other two are setting the world on fire...what do I have to be stressed about? I know real stress and fear. And even on days like yesterday, I can stand back and say, "This is nothing." There is really no excuse for not working out and there is absolutely no excuse for abusing my body by dumping sugar and carbs and crap into it.
My baby-step for today: Sugar Purge. Ridding the house of any and all cupboard-crutches. Out. They. Go. Not to be bought again.
posted by Kate @ 6:17 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home