Isn't this picture a riot? I had to share it. It was 3-D movie night, and clearly everyone is way into it...except for Lizzy who knows that they look like fools. The look on her face is priceless! So on to the update/rant...

I am little disturbed -- again -- by the health insurance companies that are running our lives. This gall bladder surgery, which is indeed a very real surgery, is not a fun one to get over at home, especially when you have three small children running around and wanting to climb on you (and your incisions) to let you know how much they love you and want you to get better. So many people have had this laparoscopic removal of their gall bladder performed on them and all I've heard is, "it's no big deal, you'll be fine in no time." REALLY????? WHEN???? I am trying to get back to normal, but how can I when I ache and cringe every time I have to bend over and pick up the eighteen-pound load called Elizabeth off the floor?

Speaking of that eighteen pound load called Elizabeth, we have switched from "watch the baby" mode to "chase the baby" mode. Holy crap, that kid can move and get herself into some serious business. Sticking fingers in electrical sockets, going through the kitchen cabinets, licking the rim of the trashcan...and this all, literally, started today. Baby proofing 101 tomorrow.

In other news...Erin has been adjusting to school, slowly but surely. And in an effort to allow her the time she needs to do just that, I have tabled the discussions about getting her into counseling. Her "ticks" and outward demonstrations of anxiety are curbed if not gone entirely, and I feel that if she needs time, then time is what she deserves. I am keeping the observations of the school professionals in the back of my mind at all times. But it is not in me to classify her and throw her into a counselor's office without being very, very sure that that is absolutely necessary.

That being said, we are still working very hard on dealing with her behavior at home. I find that I am asking the same questions of myself day after day: How do I reach her? How do I figure out how to get through to her with respect and civility and calm? She hits the door at the end of the day and it is like my whole house is in the center of a cyclone. And I try to not only get through to her with composure, I also try desperately not to let her push my buttons. My friend Jaclyn watches it all the time and just shakes her head, saying, "She just has to push you. I don't know why, but she has to."

We blame in on her being the oldest child who should have been an only child. We blame it on being a Leo (sorry to those of you out there, but you know you aren't easy. Not that Virgos are, either. I can be honest.) We blame it on how smart she is. And at this point I will admit that by "we" I mean "me," or rather, "I," to be grammatically correct. I constantly want to make excuses for why things are the way they are in an effort to compensate for not being able to change or fix it. The only constant conclusion and solution I can come up with after I exhaust the list of excuses, is that I must always come to her from a place of love. When I do, she accepts it readily and eases up in all ways. Last night, she was being incredibly difficult. I hollered and hollered and hollered some more, to which she smirked and totally disregarded what I had said. So I stopped and asked her if she would like to sit with me. And immediately, she curled up beside me in my chair, quiet as a mouse, and snuggled as we watched television for twenty minutes. She literally did not move, did not make a sound. She just curled up and settled in. And it was a beautiful, peaceful twenty minutes.

Then it occurred to me today that she has walked all the way up to the school yard from the street and gotten into line two days in a row all by herself, the first two days ever. That is a huge step. I have to just continue to accept her baby steps as being sufficient, which they are more than, and hold on to these accomplishments. Because everyday there are accomplishments with all of my children. And I had my own accomplishments in my mothering today. I did a better job tuning into all of my kids and letting them know that they are all important and special to me. I was able to let them know unequivocally that I am immensely proud of each of them individually, even if it wasn't a "perfect" day, they are each "perfect" to me. How can they not be when they look so stinkin' cute in 3-D glasses?