I am officially the worst "blogger" in history. I think about writing everyday, but have had to compete for computer time with my children who want desperately to play on the computer every time my backside hits the chair in front of my desk. But I'm hoping that that changes today. I have a new toy in my life, my new laptop and I love it so. I can stand in my kitchen and put it on the counter top and write while i do laundry, wash dishes, cook meals and clean them up and so far, no one wants to use it but me! The kids are totally disinterested, which is unfathomable to me. But alas, I will go with it and enjoy the fact that no one wants me to share it with them...yet.
Life at the moment is up and down, as it always is with my group. Meghan has gone without her binky for two full nights. This is just about the most amazing thing any of my kids has accomplished, for I fully expected her to be like a heroin junky in withdrawal when the day came to say goodbye to this faithful friend of hers. She is remarkably unfazed and only whines about it occasionally. I am so stinking proud of her. I seriously thought this day would never come.
Elizabeth has successfully switched over to Alimentum formula with no trouble at all. Yay Alimentum! I was so nervous to attempt it, but after keeping her on Elecare turned into an insurance-driven, prohibitively expensive nightmare, it became apparent that it was time to try. She sailed through the trial and switched over completely in a week's time. As a result, I have three cans of Elecare for sale! Anyone who wants it, contact me.
School officials evaluated Erin for her issues with separation and anxiety. She clearly has an anxiety and mood disorder, and possibly attention deficit disorder. I have to find a counselor for her, and possibly for us, to help all of us deal with these issues. I am struggling with her. I admit that much freely. But I'm not surprised at this conclusion given what life has been like with her for all these years. I watch her go from happy and content and at peace with her surroundings to having everything fall apart a moment later. She screams, she hits, she throws uncontrollable tantrums and there is no consequence available to my creative parenting mind to make her want to do better, or at very least avoid the threatened consequence.
I know that there is relief in suggesting a classification, but I never wanted to label my kids. I never wanted to think of them as having something "wrong with them." No one does. But there are always issues, and there always will be. Christ, I'm riddled with them. I don't really know anyone who doesn't have some sort of hang-up, some issue with anxiety or lack of coping skills. But to watch this bright, sweet girl sinking further and further inside of herself breaks my heart. To watch her scream and cry and tug at her hair and clothing when she's upset or worried hurts so much. I want to take her pain away and make everything feel comfortable for her. This is the most difficult struggle we face as parents.
But it is a beautiful Sunday, the last of summer, and the Eagles play at 4:15. I have the makings for homemade tomato sauce and dinner is defrosting. Erin has a birthday party to attend for a boy in her class and we can walk right up the street to the boy's house. Pete and I had an awesome night out in Philly, hung out with our friends, and had both of our mothers here to take care of the kids for several hours. For these things I am grateful, and need to focus on them and maintain my perspective about these issues with Erin. I must remind myself that each of my children is an individual with strengths and weaknesses, and Erin, as the oldest, must forge these roads with Pete and me for the first time. None of us has ever done this before. It is true that it gets easier with each child, there is no doubt about that. But the oldest needs to be given some slack...they are the guinea pig and the parents are the scientists, constantly tweaking and trying and experimenting with variables to figure out what works. Maybe just focusing on all of the good and keeping my view at 10,000 feet about this challenging time will help us sail through it with a little more ease.
Life at the moment is up and down, as it always is with my group. Meghan has gone without her binky for two full nights. This is just about the most amazing thing any of my kids has accomplished, for I fully expected her to be like a heroin junky in withdrawal when the day came to say goodbye to this faithful friend of hers. She is remarkably unfazed and only whines about it occasionally. I am so stinking proud of her. I seriously thought this day would never come.
Elizabeth has successfully switched over to Alimentum formula with no trouble at all. Yay Alimentum! I was so nervous to attempt it, but after keeping her on Elecare turned into an insurance-driven, prohibitively expensive nightmare, it became apparent that it was time to try. She sailed through the trial and switched over completely in a week's time. As a result, I have three cans of Elecare for sale! Anyone who wants it, contact me.
School officials evaluated Erin for her issues with separation and anxiety. She clearly has an anxiety and mood disorder, and possibly attention deficit disorder. I have to find a counselor for her, and possibly for us, to help all of us deal with these issues. I am struggling with her. I admit that much freely. But I'm not surprised at this conclusion given what life has been like with her for all these years. I watch her go from happy and content and at peace with her surroundings to having everything fall apart a moment later. She screams, she hits, she throws uncontrollable tantrums and there is no consequence available to my creative parenting mind to make her want to do better, or at very least avoid the threatened consequence.
I know that there is relief in suggesting a classification, but I never wanted to label my kids. I never wanted to think of them as having something "wrong with them." No one does. But there are always issues, and there always will be. Christ, I'm riddled with them. I don't really know anyone who doesn't have some sort of hang-up, some issue with anxiety or lack of coping skills. But to watch this bright, sweet girl sinking further and further inside of herself breaks my heart. To watch her scream and cry and tug at her hair and clothing when she's upset or worried hurts so much. I want to take her pain away and make everything feel comfortable for her. This is the most difficult struggle we face as parents.
But it is a beautiful Sunday, the last of summer, and the Eagles play at 4:15. I have the makings for homemade tomato sauce and dinner is defrosting. Erin has a birthday party to attend for a boy in her class and we can walk right up the street to the boy's house. Pete and I had an awesome night out in Philly, hung out with our friends, and had both of our mothers here to take care of the kids for several hours. For these things I am grateful, and need to focus on them and maintain my perspective about these issues with Erin. I must remind myself that each of my children is an individual with strengths and weaknesses, and Erin, as the oldest, must forge these roads with Pete and me for the first time. None of us has ever done this before. It is true that it gets easier with each child, there is no doubt about that. But the oldest needs to be given some slack...they are the guinea pig and the parents are the scientists, constantly tweaking and trying and experimenting with variables to figure out what works. Maybe just focusing on all of the good and keeping my view at 10,000 feet about this challenging time will help us sail through it with a little more ease.
Labels: anxiety disorder, family, parenting
posted by Kate @ 9:34 AM
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