All in a year...

Well the proverbial band-aid has been ripped and Jaclyn is officially Florida-bound. We all got together for one last sushi and sake dinner on Thursday night and video-taped all the kids bouncing around, for posterity's sake, of course. Saying farewell was difficult, but lucky for me, my oldest is more dramatic than I could ever hope to be, so her sobbing and carrying on was a wonderful distraction from my own heartbreak.

I was in such a funk yesterday knowing that it was all coming to a close, and realized something in the midst of my funk: it was exactly one year ago, yesterday, that we closed on the sale of our house in Maryland. We were at Jac's house during the actual settlement so we could use Brian's fax machine to finalize the HUD sheets, and then we grilled and boozed and celebrated that we were all back together again.

How much things can change in a year.

On happier notes, I was contacted by the potential employer with whom I interviewed on Thursday for work references. I am hopeful that this means something good and that I didn't sound like a total idiot when we spoke. I thought the interview went well and I know that I really, really want the job. Fingers crossed. And it was my fab mom's birthday yesterday and the girls and I were able to spend the afternoon with her. It was primarily spent trying to navigate our way through Wegmans with three cracked-out kids who love samples, but it was spent together, nonetheless.

I drove home from her house, realizing that it had been exactly a year since we moved back, since we were staying in Pete's parents' house for the week between selling and buying, since Lizzy was teeny-tiny, sleeping in a pack -n- play and eating only from baby bottles and jars of food and baby cereal. A year since Erin and Meghan had felt settled, since none of their earlobes were jeweled and they both had training wheels on their bikes. A year since Pete had started his new job, and since I was able to really put the pieces together to start building a professional life of my own. During my drive, I was feeling sadness and a sense of loss, but did feel a slight perk upon feeling all this other stuff. My family is settled here, my kids are thriving and growing and we are exactly where we want to be. It's so hard to say good-bye. But who knows where we'll be this time next year. They could be back. We could be gone. You just never know where it's all gonna take you.

Today will begin with a run (if I could find my freaking iPod. And I'm sure that when I do, the battery will be dead and that will suck.) But yes, it will start with a run. Then weights, abs, legs. And then I will hope that all that sweating and endorphin-boosting will shake these friggin' grumpies out once and for all so I can be the young, fun, (1-lb. lighter! the scale finally moved!) mom I know I am.

My appreciation for my friends is huge today. I've just been pondering how blessed I am to be surrounded by their love and understanding. And my appreciation for those friends who have come back into my life in the past couple of months is indescribable. I lost touch for so many years with people who were not only important to me, I rarely knew a day without either seeing them, or at very least, hearing their voice. And during college, years that were ugly and painful for me, I slowly lost them. Almost all of them. Now, because of Facebook (I know, I know), many of us have found each other and are a part of each other's lives again. We are able to share the joys of thirty-something-life and continue to be part of all of these new experiences that mold us. Marraige, motherhood, careers, etc. I think about how my friends and I have gotten each other through stomach bugs and challenging behavior phases, gripes with our husbands and various parent figures. We've changed jobs, gone back to school, moved great distances, juggled our lives and basically held each other up. We weather the bad storms and relish the great victories with one another. And without that camaraderie, life would really be a bitch.

At least, that's what I think.

Tonight, as I blog, I am watching American Idol and I say, with zero shame, that I love this show. Truth and confession: I almost went to audition for this show when they held auditions at the Meadowlands a couple of seasons ago. Yes, almost. And then I didn't. Thank God. I know now, based purely upon the clear ratio of talented to talentless people who've surfaced on this show, that I am one of the talentless, one of the masses who thinks I can carry a tune a bit better than I actually can. And therefore, I am eternally thankful to scheduling conflicts and the smidgen of better judgment that kept me from driving to East Rutherford and forever becoming one of those embarrassed people. What would my friends on Facebook think? (Insert chuckle here.)

Back to the friends and survival of the fittest in terms of being a mom...how in the hell did our mothers get by without Facebook and Instant Messengers? Seriously? I am incapable of getting through a phone conversation during the day with all these kids barking at me, so my only connection to my friends and the outside world is through my computer. I start off each day by checking in on everyone on FB, checking my email, and chatting with two lovelies who shall not remain nameless (Jaclyn and Claire) on IM, commiserating about the insanity of how little sleep we got, about how our kids are being schmucks about getting through breakfast and getting ready for school...and without those little shocks, nudges and comments back and forth, my mornings would not only suck, I would be sure that I was the worst mom in the world. But knowing that the three of us are all dealing with the same crap makes me believe that either the three of us are the worst moms in the world, or everyone is going through the same stuff and it's not so bad. I like to think it's the latter. I also have to give a shout out to my laptop. I know we shouldn't love "things" but this is one thing that I truly love. It has added a much unneeded distraction to my daily life, yes, but the ownership over my thoughts and my connection to my friends, near and far, is so real, that I would definitely save my laptop in the event of a fire...after my husband, children and animals, of course.

Now back to Idol for a moment...WTF is up with the dude with the super deep voice and now the pink cowgirl from Connecticut? These people can not possibly exist, for real, in society. I am more convinced every season that the producers find these people on the street, pay them handsomely to make asses of themselves and then humiliate them. It's a beautiful thing.

We went to Kid Junction today for Meghan's "Special Day" with a bunch of other mommies and their kids, many of whom find themselves on my list of "People I Couldn't Get Through This Without..." Meg was so pleased that she got to do something just for her. I told her where we were going after Erin was already at school so there'd be no nonsense, and she almost jumped out of her seat. We arrived and but for a five-minute lunch break, she played like no child I've ever seen before. It was awesome to see her thriving and playing and loving life. She has been left out of some pretty hefty occasions lately. Erin has had a roller skating party, a Build-A-Bear party, the ear piercing fiesta...the list of what Meghan has had to sit on the sidelines for is endless. So to give her a day all her own was so excellent. I hope she didn't feel like such a middle child today.

Well I've now cried at Idol because of the guy who's almost totally blind. He sang one of my favorite songs, one that I used to be able to play on the piano, and I cried. Which means it's time for my lame self to go to bed.

'Night. And thanks girlfriends, for being in my life. You know how you are...and I seriously could not get through my days and nights of SAHM-life (or any kind of life, for that matter) without you. You are my angels.