You know that feeling you get when you've been awakened several times during the night and then you wake up again and realize the sun is up and the night is over and you have no more time to sleep and you have to start your day and make it fabulous for several people other than yourself and your limbs are numb and your eyes won't focus and you know what being run over my a truck feels like?
Yeah, that's where I am today.
Life is good and grand and great. No doubt. But sometimes, do you ever feel like everyone around you has expected and taken so much from you that there is literally nothing left for you? That's also where I am today.
I don't begrudge my family their expectations, otherwise I would not try so hard to meet and exceed them. But there are certain moments where I'm left wondering when I'm going to be able to do something that I'd really like to do. And the answer with which I am usually left is: "You're blogging and writing. That's it! You've fulfilled your "me-time" quota for the day." And while this answer is satisfactory, to a point, because I truly love my time that I sit and write and let it all fall out, it's usually very early in the morning when no one else is yet awake. Which means that I am trading sleep for writing. Always a trade-off in motherhood.
For instance, I would like to exercise today. Like go for a run and sweat like crazy while listening to my own definition of "Glorious" from my iPod, where no one can complain about the music or the volume or the fact that they have to go pee. I might get to do that. I'd also like to get my haircut and maybe wash that grey right out of it, too. It hasn't been tended to since January. I am a sight. That probably won't happen. I'll probably take the girls for haircuts instead. Similarly, I noticed yesterday that I have not given myself nor received any version of a pedicure in months. And I don't say pedicure in the luxurious sense of the word, necessarily. I kind of mean like anything resembling care of my feet and toes. But yet my two older daughters are enjoying life in flip-flops and open-toed sandals with perfectly painted digits. Now granted, I must give props to my mom who pedi-ed them last Saturday while Pete and I enjoyed food and libation on a date night. So I guess that example doesn't exactly transfer. But do you know what I mean?
My constitution improves dramatically when I realize, though, that our ridiculously high property taxes have paid me back tenfold because for the small fee of $120, I will be able to send my big girls to a Morning Fun day camp for seven weeks this summer. Five mornings a week I'll just have Lizzy from June 29th to August 14th. I have to be able to get a little "me-time" during that reprieve. Even if all I do is write and slap on a little nail polish.
I'm off to lace up my really old running shoes (that have no shocks left in them) and sweat a little. Happy Saturday!
Yeah, that's where I am today.
Life is good and grand and great. No doubt. But sometimes, do you ever feel like everyone around you has expected and taken so much from you that there is literally nothing left for you? That's also where I am today.
I don't begrudge my family their expectations, otherwise I would not try so hard to meet and exceed them. But there are certain moments where I'm left wondering when I'm going to be able to do something that I'd really like to do. And the answer with which I am usually left is: "You're blogging and writing. That's it! You've fulfilled your "me-time" quota for the day." And while this answer is satisfactory, to a point, because I truly love my time that I sit and write and let it all fall out, it's usually very early in the morning when no one else is yet awake. Which means that I am trading sleep for writing. Always a trade-off in motherhood.
For instance, I would like to exercise today. Like go for a run and sweat like crazy while listening to my own definition of "Glorious" from my iPod, where no one can complain about the music or the volume or the fact that they have to go pee. I might get to do that. I'd also like to get my haircut and maybe wash that grey right out of it, too. It hasn't been tended to since January. I am a sight. That probably won't happen. I'll probably take the girls for haircuts instead. Similarly, I noticed yesterday that I have not given myself nor received any version of a pedicure in months. And I don't say pedicure in the luxurious sense of the word, necessarily. I kind of mean like anything resembling care of my feet and toes. But yet my two older daughters are enjoying life in flip-flops and open-toed sandals with perfectly painted digits. Now granted, I must give props to my mom who pedi-ed them last Saturday while Pete and I enjoyed food and libation on a date night. So I guess that example doesn't exactly transfer. But do you know what I mean?
My constitution improves dramatically when I realize, though, that our ridiculously high property taxes have paid me back tenfold because for the small fee of $120, I will be able to send my big girls to a Morning Fun day camp for seven weeks this summer. Five mornings a week I'll just have Lizzy from June 29th to August 14th. I have to be able to get a little "me-time" during that reprieve. Even if all I do is write and slap on a little nail polish.
I'm off to lace up my really old running shoes (that have no shocks left in them) and sweat a little. Happy Saturday!
posted by Kate @ 6:34 AM
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